All I want for Christmas  

I have a wish list so long and true 
Will Santa bring it on Christmas I haven t a clue 
  
I want to feel happy as I was before 
Please take my pain so it will be no more 
Bring back my memory so it won t disappear 
Handle my thoughts so my thinking is clear 
Teach me again to count my change 
Put things in one place so not to rearrange 
Fill my head with wonderful ideas so I may draw 
Let be walk with my shoulders back so I feel strong and tall 
Make me smile and not shed a tear 
Control my anger take away my fear 
 
So Santa please see what you can do 
I have never stopped believing in you 
JAC/ME2  
December 2, 2004  
  

I get so angry I want scream 
Anxiety fills my head I m busting at the seems 
 
I don t no way it comes on so strong  
I need to relax and calm the storm 
 
I once was happy and had so much fun  
Now I sit alone and watch the falling sun 
 
My family and friend are around to see 
At time s they wonder what has happen to me 
 
Why do these feel of despair come along? 
I once was happy whistling a song 
 
The anger that I have will soon despair 
Then I can laugh and enjoy and not shed a tear 
 
I will be happy and rejoice for this I no 
But in a flash the anger come back for a show 
 
So enjoy the days that are full of fun 
Smile as you watch the falling sun 
JAC/ME2   

November has come with a chill in the air 
I m home alone without a care 
 
I travel within my mind so deep 
To think of yesterday and take a peek 
 
Beautiful thoughts of the long days gone by 
Wishing they were here I try not to cry 
 
Changes have come some good some bad 
I have wonderful memory so I won t feel sad 
 
I hold them close to my heart so tight 
I never want to lose them from my minds sight 
 
The are the map the road to my soul 
When I think of them that s when I feel whole  
JAC/ME2  11/11/04 

Consuming thoughts on days gone by  
The tender tears falling from by eyes 
 
I seek for you so deep inside  
To show yourself and come to my side 
 
I am not sure of when or way you're gone 
I think your hiding some were so safe and warm 
 
I see your reflection in the mirror each day 
Some times you come but you never stay 
 
I must go forward I can't turn back 
The roads ahead keep me on track 
  
Don't ever fault try not to cry 
Your strength and endurance will make you survive 
JAC/ME2   

Idle thought of asking WHY 
I look up to the star so high in the sky 
 
Does GOD no the answer I need 
Or am I asking too much it seems 
 
I have tried to be strong and endure the pain 
It so hard to carry this emotional blame 
 
I did not ask for this burden to hold 
The restlessness within my soul 
 
Give me the endurance to get threw the day 
My hopes my dreams please help me pray 
 
For you my GOD above hold the answers I need  
Show me directions please plant the seed 
 
Once again I look so high to the sky 
GOD are you up there do you have the answer WHY 
JAC/ME2 

 
  I start the day with hopes and dreams 
  I center around what works it seems 
 
  I set the timer not to forget   
  The sound is alarming it's time to reset 
 
  What ever makes the day have ease 
  Sometimes this works and I'm pleased 
 
  Don't question the reasons of why it works 
  Don't ponder on it's little quirks 
 
  Just start the day with hopes and dreams 
  smile and go on keeping your self-esteem 
  JAC/ME2 9/24/04