A Place to Share

Now and Ever After (the reality of Brain Injury)
deep trouble
like deep deprivation
of love and sex
the love, the loss of sex
like deep pockets fortifying LIFE

JUST my depth of regrets revisited
again and again; now!
this lasting anger hanging on
for now and apparantly
everlasting eternity

this length of time is now has been
too long, ongoing
OF BRAIN INJURY LOSSES and forgotten futures
false personas, put off smiles on figurines; the "masks that hide"
the poems I wite; poems written of life
the fake lives we live, and pretend to be; happy, not sad
God forbid sad; not sad
not for her to see; not to be seen
the truth of IS
like forgotten futures
yesterdays today, and tomorrows
the never will be's
those will be's, that will not
the not be's
in darks of downs

but in times of ups, why not?

WHAT ABOUT, WHY NOTS??

a loving caring man with
the muscles, looks, blatant smarts
a doer, thinker, a wanter
better life ,better world, better soul!
like blue, shiney dime's worth
feeling of spiff, untouched placid rarity
moment, in moments, is now!

I look past dusty dusky yellow on canvas
then toward
sadness revisited yesterday; but not today's tomorrow
a faded forecast unknown possibilities predicted
golden silk kitchen marbles
distinct indelible dreams creating future

Dan Windheim

Crap!
A LIFE WITH TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY

Many thoughts & ideas racing through my mind, but unable to get them out.
Blocking & blanking; sticking. I guess this is writer's block;

PLEASE GO AWAY!

After having literary diarrhea this summer; I am now stuck; aggravated with this inability to write.
Time stood still in a Blue Grey glow,and Red sparks flickered; water flowed.
Again a realization strikes hard against my interior;

THIS THING CALLED TBI IS PERMANENT!

Having known this for the past "so" many years, I still find it impossible to accept.
Must I?
To accept, would I have to give up my inner ambitions; give in to what is?
NEVER!

To just bend, and be bent by life's circumstances, and allow my world to be reflected on; and influenced. Become flexible & tolerant?
I CAN, AND WILL DO THAT!
Now forming around the edges of this bottomless pond, white lilies grow on death's doorstep, bringing hope to my future.
A Life that will be what I make it; with choice, and peace of mind.

Dan Windheim

a beautiful mind
a beautiful mind (is crying & suffering)

visions held within
are distortions of reality

as a beautiful mind is detected from above
disruptive voices impede
tinted glass images are shattered
and broken bodies of beauty
are left alone

these black & white shadows
cause internal lesions and voices

insightful recognitions and recollections
united, and then created
shocking curing syptoms
not causing
leave colors sheared
stunted
innocent and convulsing

as these lost souls wander within life
structures have fallen down
bodies roaming through cities
looking for safe havens
to be at peace again

Dan Windheim

SOUNDBOX OF HOPE(CHRISTMAS 2002)
digging trenches within my mind
an empty life to be filled full
this rocky life causing care and creation
the insideous scenarios that bring dangling conjunctions

my sound machine produces a piece of peace; real relaxation to my life
like falling rain drops worthy of richness and
gusting winds, whipping against solid rock from above
softness sounds nearing heavens away from
death sleep, grounded worms of liquor; drink

the dreaded winter storms
life into, within waves of peace brought near

and white sounds of hues mindfully fabricated
smoothed canvas primed for just this occasion
a bone dry stream aching for relief and courage
is smear of color and joy along
life woodlands of urban renewals abroad
city streets lacking love, like and lessons learned lightly.

Dan Windheim

COLOR IN LIFE, ON THIS JOURNEY
Life as i know
what i thought

life as i thought
not what is

this ongoing journey
green & grey
sometimes gold

Full then empty
everlasting
painstaking effortless

alone once again
the control
blue and light blue
sky blue

with color
a journey
full of joy
but no peace

Dan Windheim

MY MIND WANDERS
Zoning out; once again taken; the mind barrelling free; desolate.
Dusty, dusky, the empty mind; filled with questions.
A single thought; one track road. Dim silent; forced to divulge.
Missing cells;rattling, free as birds. Sad songs repeated. Once again.
Spaces along the road less traveled; alone at last. The void remains.
Overcome by colors; eploding, splattering; God to us in a split. Divulged.
Crystal view; taken for granted; to keep in mind, overbearing, but not forgot.
Not recalled, but sensed; left to frustration; anger; futility.The mind wanders.
Seconds to minutes; hours, then days.Only a blur; blue, add yellow; green.
Spinning & spiraling; words running rampant; blended, then twisted.
Keeping it straight; my burning desire. A constant goal.

Dan Windheim