When we went down to see him he was hooked up to all kinds of equipment. Such a tiny scrap of human being. I watched as a nurse inserted an I.V. into his tiny arm. His little face crinkled up as he cried but you could hear no sound because of the tubes in his throat. I silently promised him then and there, that if I could help it, he would not ever have to cry unnecessarily again.( A foolish promise I realize now)

When Alex came home, after an 18 day stay in the hospital,he came to my house.Joe and Tracie brought him in and placed the car seat on the couch.All you could see were blankets. I finally found him.As I folded the blankets back and spoke to him I received one of the sweetest smiles I have ever seen. Well that sewed it up! I melted and formed right around his little finger and it's been that way since then.

Alex continued to grow and thrive happy healthy rambunctious little boy, with dark brown eyes that shown with mischief. At the age of four and a half, he had his Nana trained well. He loved playing basketball and he could ride his two-wheeled bike as well as children twice his age.When he tried to do anything he wouldn't quit until he mastered it. He was full of determination.His room at home looked like a toy store! A loving, little boy that has loved to cuddle since birth. He was friendly with most people, but mom and dad were the very center of his world.

Then came the day of the phone call. I was working on two clients at the beauty shop where I work , when the phone rang,at about 11:40 a.m. and a woman said Tracie had been involved in an accident and wanted me to call her husband, Joe, and then go to the hospital in our town. I ask if she was hurt and the woman replied that she had a cut on her leg but she was coherent, I then ask her about Alex, and she said "we've got him"and once again ask me to come to the hospital. I thought this was someone from the hospital. I did not find out till later that she was as the scene when she made the call.

My co-workers made a call to my other daughter and she came to pick me up as I was to shook-up to drive. I listened to her pray as we headed to the hospital. We came upon the accident and were directed around it . I didn't know at the time that Tracie was still in the car, they were having to cut her out. When I saw the car I guess I got a little hysterical, I can still here Tonya telling me "mom it will be all right".

Let me take this time to tell you we are a family that truly believes in prayer. Tonya happened to be on the phone with one of her church members when she got the call on the other line to come and get me and they let her know about the accident. the lady she was talking to immediately got an her phone and formed a prayer chain.

When we arrived at the hospital I don't think my legs would hold me up . Once again Tonya's strength helped me through. We rushed inside to find out how bad Tracie and Alex were hurt. They told us that Alex had some broken bones and Tracie was on her way in the ambulance. Little did I know , my grandson was fighting for his life at that moment. We couldn't see him because he was in x-ray and they were trying to stabilize him. I alternated between calm and hysterics. My son-in-law arrived,Joe, Tracie's husband, arrived about 10 min. after we did.

The ambulance finally arrived with Tracie.I heard her cry out as they transferred her from the stretcher. I broke and rantrying to get to her but the hospital personnel said I would have to wait a while. Some time in all the coming and going of all the people at the hospital ,Tonya's husband and my husband and their pastor came in.

They finally let us see Tracie. I really did'nt know what to say to her, they had not told her how bad Alex was at that time. They had told us that the doctor wanted to have Alex air lifted to Vanderbuilt Hospital in Nashville, Tennessee, and that they had already been notified and Life Flight would be there to pick him up in twenty minuets,.that is when I felt the worse ice cold fear I have ever felt in my life. I begged and pleaded with God to please not take Alex from us.I didn't try to bargain because I don't believe that does any good. I prayed as a heartbroken grandmother. I remember at one time all I could say was "please, please, God, please don't take Alex , please spare his life". As I look back now it is as vivid as if it happened this morning. My daughter , Tonya told the hospital staff that we wanted the three pastors to see Alex and lay hands on him in prayer, and this was permitted.

When I was taken to where Tracie was laying and walked up to her bed she looked up and said "mom I've knocked all my teeth out." I told her she sure knew how to stir up some excitement! and that she could buy some new teeth. At this time we didn't know how bad Tracie was injured. Tonya told her that they were sending Alex to Nashville because that is where he would get the best of care at that time.

Then I went to see Alex. He was so very still and pale, they had dressed his head and had i.v's. in hi s tiny arms and they were bagging him to help him breath. I know my heart stopped for a few seconds. I touched his small hand and told him to hang in there that Nana loved him very much. Immediately I returned to praying again. I believe I was in a state of shock. This was my worst nightmare and I couldn't wake up. All I could do was cry and pray, "please, please, God, please Father, don't take Alex from us."

I remember asking the doctor when I was in with Alex if he would be all right and how bad is it ? He replied "it's bad." I walked out of that room praying like I have never prayed before and returned to where my family was waiting.

Life Flight arrived to transport Alex to Nashville. Tracie was transported to a larger hospital in a city 20 miles from our home and later she was also transported to Nashville to be close to her husband and child, by request of the hospital leasion in Nashville. Around 11p.m. we watched as they loaded Tracie in the ambulance for the trip to Nashville.My prayer was for a safe trip for them and please, please, God let Tracie and Alex be all right.

Tonya took me home and we planned to leave around 8a.m. the next morning to go to Nashville. Harlan and I talked for an hour or so after I got home. Neighbors and friends had came by and called offering to do anything they could to help. The impact of what had happened was just to enormous for us to grasp. I still kept waiting to wake up from this horrible nightmare. I called and checked on Alex before I went to bed and he seemed to be a little bit better they said. My prayer was, "please God, I don't have to have a mile of good news just an inch a day will do". I really don't remember getting much sleep that night. My mind kept running in circles. All the "what if's". What is the girl hadn't stopped in front of Tracie, what if Tracie's brakes hadn't grabbed, what if the man in the truck had not swerved, what if I had told Tracie we would pick them at her house to go get the camper, what if, what if, what if.

I lay in the bed all night with my heart breaking for my child and grandchild that were 125 miles away and I could do nothing for them but pray and plead with God. When my eyes would close I could picture what it must have been like for Tracie and Alex at the time the accident happened. "Please God watch over them and lay your loving, healing hands on them,please keep them safe and let them be all right, be with Joe ,Lord give him strength and comfort Lord."

Tonya picked me up at 8 o'clock the next morning and we were on our way. We arrived at the hospital around 10 o'clock, and finally found the pediatric ICU. I went back to see my grandson. Once again I was looking at Alex hooked up to all kinds of machinery. So small and quite and still. Monitors hooked everywhere and IVs in his tiny arms again. The nurse said it was all right to talk to him or touch him if I wanted to . I very gently touched his little hand and said "Alex, Nana is here darling, I love you. Just try real hard to get better for all of us."He went to moving his arms and legs. His nurse jumped up and said " that won't do, he is not as far under as we thought he was.At that time they were keeping Alex in a drug induced coma to keep him still, because of the swelling on his brain.

Tonya went back to visit for a while and then we had to go to another building to see Tracie. She was scheduled to have surgery on Monday and she still did not know how critical Alex was. The Drs. inserted an Internal Cranial Pressure Monitor into Alex's head to measure the amount of pressure on his brain. They told us that a number below 20 would be good. ( Please God let his numbers be below 20.) When the monitor was inserted the number was 16. (Thank you Lord.) The numbers would go up and down causing delight one moment and despair the next.

We left the hospital that night at 9:30 to find a motel. Joe called us at 1:30 and told us the numbers were high again. At 3 am we got up and went back to the hospital to stay with Alex. I really don't know what I would have done without the strength and support of my daughter and her husband gave freely to me.

We spent Sunday going back and forth between buildings to visit with Tracie and Alex. Several friends and relatives came to offer support that day. It was another one of those la-la land days. Things were real but they didn't seem real. I can remember the scripture, "suffer the little children to come unto me , for such is the kingdom of heaven", going around in my mind. It was strange that after one time I had been in to visit Alex, and then Tonya went back. When I went in the next time that verse had been written out on a small page of note paper and taped to his pillow. This happened a second time while Alex was in PICU. The scriptures that time were the healing scriptures . Tonya or I never shared what was on our mind. It just seemed like the Lord put the verse in my mind to comfort me and the next thing you knew Tonya would write down the same verses and tape them to Alex's pillow.

Alex spent 10 days in a drug induced coma. Several trips were made back and forth to Nashville by our family members and friends because his ICP numbers would go so high. At one time they planned to do surgery because they were really high. Of course our prayers were prayed that much more fervently. The numbers slowly came back down and the surgery didn't have to be done.

As Alex's condition slowly improved he was moved to a room and spent about a week there. Next he was transferred to the Rehabilitation hospital and spent 8 weeks there. The family checked into a home health program so we could bring Alex home. After finally convincing the doctors that this would work for Alex they let us bring him home. He could not walk, talk, or feed himself.

He had three therapist a day coming in the home and a nurse 8or 9 hours a day as his mother was on crutches and could not handle him very well alone.

We have seen Alex come a long way in the time since the accident. He started pre-school in January and the first day he attended he walked the length of the gym 4 times unaided. We considered this a miracle in itself as he had only taken a few steps around the home. They are working very hard on his speech as it is very limited at this time. Also he has started to use his left arm to assist a little now.

Alex is a bright eyed little boy with a beautiful smile that can melt your heart. I have no idea why these things happen, as his grandmother I have a hard time dealing with this when my mind decides to dwell on the used to be's. I am sure of these things though, that without the prayers and support of all of our friends and family ,our road would have been much harder to travel.

The support that I have received in the tbi chat room is priceless. I believed the key to getting through a trama of this sort is faith and support.

We go on daily now continuing to pray and see those prayers answered. We rejoice over any strides that Alex makes , no matter if they are large or small. Only God knows what the finale outcome of this will be. But we will continue to keep the faith and wait upon the Lord.

If there are caregivers or family members out there that need to just talk feel free to contact me in the tbichat room . I am there most nights.My nick is Nana and my e-mail address is , asmith5961@charter.net