My odyssey begins May 6, 1966. I am in the U.S. Navy attending Stainless Steel Welding School located at the 32nd street Naval Station in San Diego. At this time I have completed Nuclear Power School and Nuclear Power Prototype. From San Diego I am to go on to Submarine School and the Nuclear Sub. Fleet.

On this, my "Day of Infamy," a friend and I are going to Lake Havasu City Arizona to visit his family. As we drove through Cuyamaca Rancho State Park we were involved in a one-car accident. To this day we do not know why the crash occurred. My friend received several broken bones but after several months went on to submarine duty. I also received orthopedic injuries and the infamous T.B.I. (ofcourse this was before T.B.I. was part of the vocabulary). I broke both hips, two bones in my right shoulder and the two bones in my right fore arm. The pain in my physical injuries was very bad at times, but could never compare to the mental pain the brain injury brought on!

The month following the accident I am unable to remember. I am told I would at times regain consciousness. During these periods I would usually mumble, occasionally I would talk coherently for short periods.

Recovering from my brain injury was one of the most difficult problems I can imagine. About one year into my recovery I was told by a neurolergest while he was consoling me, "Flanigan, you're a very lucky young man. Most people who have their brains injured as yours was commit suicide, or attempt suicide and fail, and can never again effectively function in society". Well, he was right. Twice early in my recovery I had thought of committing suicide. Life appeared so pointless and cruel. But through the grace of God my thinking changed. After this point I became a very self-assured person. Believe me, luck was not involved! If only that neurolergest had not foolishly attributed my recovery to blind luck, I would have told him how I had put the thoughts of suicide out of my mind. But I knew that unless he asked, my telling him would do no good. To this day I do not think medical science knows why some people have a tendency to commit suicide after some brain injuries because they just don't ask those who could know, what a shame.

My hospital stay lasted 23 months. Most of the care I received concerned my physical injuries. My mental recovery was almost an after thought. Neurological science was not as advanced as it is today, and the help I received was not beneficial. Looking back I can see how circumstances in my recovery worked against me. I was 2000 miles from home and alone in a large military hospital. I was unable to become reacquainted with my past. I felt betrayed by life. Because of my memory loss I had forgotten all about human nature and how evil the mind of man is. Can you picture a person 21 years old being reintroduced to society with the naïve mind of a baby-but with a vocabulary and able to think and reason? This is overwhelming. You feel betrayed, overwhelmed. Especially if you are on your own with no loved ones to help you to readjust to the realities of life. What I have just stated is the reason I had the problems I did. Can you imagine a little baby having to deal with life all alone! That is the experience I had. You simply are unable to understand the trauma unless you experience it. You simply don't want to live. Unless we live 18,20 years and slowly become callused, you look at society and you think twice about wanting to be a part of it.

During this period when I was disillusioned with life is where my religious beliefs allowed me to become a survivor. Many people, knowing the injuries I received, attempt to help me deal with the problems I encounter in my recovery. They try to mold me in there "image" if you will. I tried to find an example to follow but couldn't. So what was I to do? I didn't know, I was lost lost. But thank God, even though I had lost much of my memory, He allowed the phrase "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" to come in to my mind. I hung on that concept, tried my best to live by it. My battle became manageable. Over a rather short time span, I change from insecure confused young man to one who had direction and purpose. From that point on I have been able to deal with what life has dealt me. I have been able to be employed fore the 31 years since my discharge from the Navy with my neurological and physical disabilities. God says he will never leave you or forsake you, and he won't!

There is so much more to talk about but I must stop. I welcome comments and questions and the opportunity to talk to other TBI survivors and care givers. My E-mail address is DOCAL10@aol.com