The "why" of what caused my TBI is something I don't like to think about.So I will focus on how I feel right now. It has been 6 months exactly since the accident. And unfortunately, I remember all detail of the horror show of my life. Memory is not what was taken from me. The ability to feel beauty, calm, wonder, relaxation, comfort... this is what I have lost. The ability to control my mind and body.. this is what I lost. Tortured by all sounds, for fear that they will send me into convulsions.I am stuck in this alien body, alien mind. Blurting out screams 100 times a day. No comfort on the inside. Only memories of a memory of what it felt like to be alive. Unable to communicate in person due to slowed speech processing. Living in hell. Hoping for salvation from this surreal nightmare world.