On 5/2/97 my wife was on her way home after work. She had volunteered to stay longer at work to help out.

While stopped at a light, her truck was rear-ended by a vehicle driven by a doctor (a long story in itself). The accident reconstruction team estimated his speed at nearly 80 at the time of impact. It pushed and rolled my wife's truck 197', with little remaining but the cab and part of the engine compartment.

She was admitted to the local hospital unconscious, and with multiple skull fractures. Amazingly, there were no other injuries. She was transferred to Upstate Medical Center which was better equipped to handle her injury.

She spent about 5 weeks in a coma. Her recovery process went through many 'stages' over the coming months. After almost exactly a year she was able to drive and return to work again with 'special considerations'. She developed ways of adapting to everyday circumstances to give the impression of normalacy. I was back at my job; a 'great guy', a 'rock' for having stood by her. So everyone felt that our lives were back to normal again.

What no one realized was that her/my/our previous lives ended on the day of the accident. The outgoing, independent, carefree person I was married to had been replaced. My new wife was introverted, fearful of social situations and very dependent. Love has been redefined to a type of father-daughter type of affection. A full life now has occasional, simpler moments.

So, while I go from day-to-day trying to be helpful, supportive and guiding, I feel that the 'rock' is starting to crumble. I find myself thinking about looking for social contacts on the 'outside', then feeling guilty for thinking about it.

It would be nice to hear from others who are in similar positions to see if my feelings are normal, selfish or aberrant.