Well howdy lots of water under this bridge, since I wrote the last batch of words. I guess enough to warrant an update.

First thing
The first thing that I will mention is that I am successfully (most of the time) dealing with this new-found identity I seem to have been parachuted into. This is the hardest and what is taking the longest to get used to. The categorisation of being one who is handicapped. Incredibly enough, what happened is that not only did I have all the physical and mental obstacles to overcome, I had (and still have) to overcome society's new identity/category/classification for me. A fuzzy sweet-smelling straightjacket.

Second thing
The second thing is my attitude. I think I always had a positive attitude, but I still felt very distrustful of others. I found I always had to push and scream to make myself heard and felt. I still do but now I can accept acts of kindness for what they are I used to always look for the evil, ulterior motive. And I am much less a voyeur in life, and more of a participant. I used to feel that I could only observe now I am a player.

Third thing
Since writing my original story, I entered university in a masters program of communications, in French. I am pulling off A's ( I'm blown away myself). More important than the marks and all the acedemic rules and nonsense, is the fact that I am able to intellectually hold my own, and the discovery that I really enjoy swimming in vast theoretical concepts. They're too big fer my lil ol head, but I attack small digestible fragments at a time. I've also co-produced, co-created, and performed in a similarly-themed collection of acts/scenes. We played to full houses, and it was wild communicating live and not via television production. Quite the rush.

Fourth
As I already expressed, it still is nearly unbearable to live with this hidden disability. People either exaggerate and go too far with their concern, or ignore me totally and push me (sometimes violently) out of their way. Life is too _____(fill in the blank: noisy, bright, fast ) for me. Especially since superficially, I look and act and feel normally.

The short story: In the summer of '95 I was the passenger in the front seat of a car whose rear tire blew, causing the car to flip over a few times. I was left on the side of the highway until I was spotted and transferred to the first of many hospitals. I was in deep coma for 6 weeks, a looney tune for 6 months, lost the ability to walk and talk and to be able to go to the bathroom by myself. I have so far defied all predictions and am continuing to improve.

The longer story: I was a successful award winning television director and producer (including a gemini award-american equivalent is an emmy), on vacation in Egypt, on my way to one of the best scuba-diving spots in the world. I loved adventure, outdoor activity and travel (that has not changed, although I have put off travelling for the time being). I loved my job and was a willing workaholic. In Egypt I joined a guy who was heading in my direction. Apparently, one of the rear tires blew, causing the car to flip over a few times. I was the only one injured. The driver and other passengers took off, leaving me naked by the side of the highway under the desert sun. All my diving, electronic, and personal gear was pilfered. I know not by whom.

Some U.N. soldiers spotted me and brought me to a U.N. hospital. I was transferred to an Israeli hospital, where my parents came to make sure that I was being well-looked after. I was still comatose. Finally, I was transferred to a hospital in Montreal (Montreal was home at the time).

Then come a long list of predictions:
I would not make it;
if I did I'd be a total vegetable;
I would never see properly again (I now have partially corrected doublevision)
I will be mentally retarded;
I will never be able to walk;
I will be too psychologically imbalanced to rejoin society;
I would never walk without a cane and so on...I can now walk (awkwardly) and talk (no longer always shouting or speaking only in a monotone) sort of normally. I now (mostly) control my temper (which was way out of control). The accident also caused this once successful, popular guy to deal with a whole new set of economic circumstances. While never being rich, I used to be able to afford to indulge in my vice of the moment. Unfortunately I never saved for that rainy day. And now, it's pouring outside.

I have also lost my main social network, and now have difficulty meeting people and making new friends. Having a core group of supporters (mostly family and a very few friends) helped incredibly. Not always with their actions, but with the knowledge of their devotion and their major-in-a-big-way support and loyalty. My mom was also key. It was from her I received my initial inspiration to fight and to fight intelligently. I don't believe faith had much to do with my (incredible) recovery. It was more an inner knowledge, a certainty, that I would and will improve. This certainty exists to this day.

Everything, however, is not as rosy as this portrait depicts. I do , in fact suffer from a myriad of ailments, some minor, some major. I feel that I have a hidden disability, and that the better I get, the more I suffer. Because I'm quick-thinking and compensate really well, society chastises and punishes me. I have no or very little endurance, (both physical and mental), have frequent bouts of lethargy, occasional waves of fatigue that overwhelm me with no warning, double vision, constant pain (varying from annoying to goddawful) and a host of other things that are put down to laziness, absent-mindedness or 'being negative'.

chien33