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Hi, my name is Duffy and I live in Colorado. I am the oldest of 4 girls and was raised in a military family. I have sustained 2 TBI's, the first in l978 which I was a passenger on a motorcycle and hit by a car...and the second in l986, rear ended while sitting at a red light waiting to turn. The first injury was a long healing process. I was initially unconscious, and hospitalized for several months with multiple broken bones, and two surgeries required to repair my right fibula. I was on crutches for 2 years because the healing process was so slow. I guess the only humor attached to that, was I would decorate my crutches with the appropiate color "tape" to mark the coming and going of holidays! Any symptoms of TBI were not acknowledged, and if I was displaying any, the physical injuries took priority in my recovery. Prior to the first injury I had been a nurse in the military and worked emergency medicine, I had gotten out and completed some more schooling and was working as a mental health therapist for our local mental health center. I think this is significant because I was not discriminated againt by my employer since I presented with "physical" challenges. As time went on, and I climbed the ladder in my occupation, I was considering a private practice option. The secoond accident did it...and rather quickly. I had the usual after accident problem, headache, vertigo, neck and back spasms/pain, sleep disturbance,...then the cervical collars, physical therapy, cognitive retraining, every group under the sun and TOO many doctor appointments. Then I started experiencing severe anxiety, depression, feeling paranoid and suspicious...couldn't sit in a room and do groups, couldn't track and remember information, so I had to take a medical leave of absence. Now the problems started. Since I worked in a mental health/medical setting everyone knew me. It was very difficult to get help with some level of confidentiality. Hind sight was that I should have gone out of town...well, I couldn't even travel five miles from my home without freaking out. I eventually lost my job, worked in four more positions of lower pay and responsibility and finally had to file for SSDI. My docs always thought I looked fine, and I did. Part of the delema was not wanting to look "less than" in their eyes, but the toll was on me. The stress was too much when you are in denial and trying to keep up the "dance." I ended up with 4 psych admits before I even approached them about SSDI...like I wasn't damaged enough! Since that time I have tried working with VOC REHAB and wrote a program for BI, which was accepted by a local agency that works with disability (l995) but I was unable to work even a 20 hour week. Since that time I am totally disillusioned. I was then nine year into my injury and thought I was going to regroup. Today I am no longer in denial, I don't ""dance", I know I will never return to my previous level of functioning...and I have stayed out of the hospital! I used to just ask Santa for some "even keel"...I have insight, awareness, and many talents. This year maybe he could bring me "a life!!!' Hanging in there after all these years.
Duffy's Picture Gallery http://community-2.webtv.net/PURRfectLessons/JUSTANOTHERBRICKin/
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How Strong Is A Feather...Duf