We never know what life is going to bring us. A lesson I quickly learnt on the night of November 14, 1999. That night as I prepared myself for bed I did not realize that was the last moments of my life as knew it to be.

About 2:00 a.m. I was awaken by my cat who was licking my face. She had never done that before. I remember opening my eyes and feeling really strange - went to stand up and found that my legs did not work. I managed to get to the phone and called my daughter who hurried over. By the time she arrived I had gotten violently ill, lost control of my arms and legs, lost my sight and although I thought I was speaking to her - the words were nothing but a garble.

The doctors still are not sure what happened to me that night - possible stoke??? It could be the result of a small stroke together with all the previous head injuries from the numerous car accidents, beatings from an abusive husband, maybe even the time I was indirectly hit by lightning.

Although it would be nice to know what happened - the doctors have said they may never find out. The fact is that today I have trouble with my sight, lost hearing in one ear, lost my sense of balance (I never know when I am going to fall). If I am tired or stressed, I never know what is not going to work. Some days I talk, walk and think as if I am completely drunk. I have trouble reading and understanding what I read. I used to have a high reading speed and would remember the important points. (How we can take things for granted).

As I do more research and try to find out more about TBI, I realize how God has smiled on me all these years. Even with the severe head injuries I have had in my past - I was given many years of not having to deal with the many problems that I easily could have had.

One of the motor vehicle accidents I was in many years I was told by the doctors that it was a miracle that I lived through it. My face hit a medal dash and I received what they call a "death blow". My facial bones, frontal bone were all fractured. My nose was pushed into my head. I have had years of plastic surgery to correct my appearance. The doctors told me I had brain damage and left it at that. The only problems I remember dealing with was my speech and double vision. I had read an article on speech problems from injuries and set up my own therapy. Got a bunch of rocks (large enough so, I would not swallow them) put some in my mouth, sat in front of a mirror and talked. Accomplished two things by doing that - my speech improved (although I have learnt not to talk fast) and I got used to looking at the stranger in the mirror.

I do not know what the future holds for me but for now I pray and ask for the strength and guidance to accept what has come my way. The emotions that I sometimes experience are a little overwhelming but HE has been taking care of me and it seems when I am ready and I desperately need help he guides me to where I need to go.

Email Helen