We where born in Yarmouth NS. Canada. When our mother was pregnant with us, that's right, us I am a twin she took something for morning sickness and the Dr. told her I am the one who is going to have problems. So I did. That's how I got ABI but I didn't know this yet. when I was 3 months and 6 months I had two convulsions and almost died. When I was 3 years old I hit my head on the cement and had a big bump on my head for a long time this is how I got TBI but I didn't know this until later and will get there, moving on. when we were only 5 years old when on July,5 1972 we went to the beach, Dad was away working on the fishing boat and mom was sunbathing. we were told not to go to far in the water but my twin Jimmy didn't listen, he went out too far and there was a drop off and he drowned :-( I still miss him very much. he would have been 6 on August 3rd 1972 but only I turn 6 that year.

From the fall and hitting my head I got epilepsy and was put on medication, but the medication gave me behavior problems and I lost my temper a lot, my mother and father hit me a lot and I got a lot of licking I got one from my mother and when Dad came home from work I got another one, and if I didn't shut up I got another one and he used to tell me that "I 'll turn your ass so black and blue you wont be able to sit down for a week" I tried to be good but because of the medication I couldn't. I even got kick out off school.

On my tenth birthday mom got me to wish that I go to this school so I did, see the medication it made it so I couldn't think right but I didn't know this because I was use to this and growing up this way how would you know any different and I didn't. Well I went to this school it was an institution in Truro.NS. I went there in September of 1976-1984 where I was abused. I was molested for the 8 years I was there in the institution, I didn't belong here. I had TBI and I had trouble in school. I didn't understand that I was going to grow up here and when I got there mom and dad left me there. I didn't know it was going to be so far away from home. I had two seizures in the tub and was leaning forward, I think was going to drown but someone came to help me, that's when I found out I had epilepsy. I was put in with kids that drill and dig and couldn't dress themselves so I was 10 my first year there and I had to get up and help them when I was a kid myself. I also had to help bathe them and I was made to bathe with them. I was a child myself and I wasn't one of the staff it was their job to do this not mine. I went home for the summer and went to camp penile and that's where I got saved. I asked Jesus into my heart as my Lord and savior, that was in July of 1977. It was the next year I moved over to a building where it was so bad off and that's when I started to get punished for having seizures they said it was fake and I got the strap for having a seizure. Kids called me faker. I used to have to clean for punishment because of the seizures, like clean all the room or do the windows or wash and wax the dining room floors. But it wasn't fake and I have proof of that later in my story. When I read a story I couldn't answer the questions so I was sent to the principal's office. I couldn't and still I have trouble comprehending what I read. I can read it but not comprehend it. I went home Christmas, summer, and march break and in the summers I was sent to camp and foster homes.

Dad died of a heart attack on April 30/79 and I was sent home to go to the funeral, I was told "not to cry and to be strong for my mother", I was only 12 years old, and when I got to the door I cried and so did mom and I felt guilty for this. I was not strong enough to go to the funeral so I didn't go. mom remarried 10 months after dad died and I didn't like it but said OK. Here it gets worse, so you might not want to read on. On one of my home visits mom and her husband went to a party and drank, when they came home I was already in bed asleep, when he (step-father) came in and raped me, I was sleeping so I didn't know what was happening until it was too late and he told me "not to cause any trouble by running to mom and telling her and that I have caused enough trouble" But I didn't listen to him, I told her that night even though she was drunk too. she kept yelling at me to go back to bed. If that was my little girl I would have kicked him out and called the police and told her it was going to be OK and it was not her fault, but I was told it was my fault by her. I got up because I was upset and so was she, we end up going to my aunts house. The next day the social services came and I told the truth but then mom made me go back and tell them I made it all up she said if I didn't "I never see her again" so I did. It was a family secret for 14 years, more later in the story.

My last year there in the institution they took me off mysoline and my behavior changed so much that I got the most improved student of the year award and was given a watch and this was at my graduation but everyone graduates when their 18 or going to be 18 that summer. Because of the behavior change I was able to go to a home instead of another institution. it was 10 days before graduation that all this took place. and the people I was going to, came to my graduation the first time, someone came to get me to take me home after a concert. I was so grateful that I had this change in my life to be normal and live in a home. The medication I was on for epilepsy made me like a zombie, I was in a daze all the time, but didn't know it. I live in this home for 5 years and then got a place of my own, but I was so unhappy that I tried to kill myself so I went for help. When I get out I wasn't able to go back to the home so a Pastor took me in. I get a lot of deliverance there but after awhile I began to believe that the seizures were fake when it wasn't. I got off the medication, first I went to the Dr. and then I was made to quit cold turkey, it was like a drug addict getting off drugs. If your going to get off your medication, let Dr. help you, I could have died but God's hand was on me. My mouth was so big from biting it, from having one seizure after another, it was not safe, there's a lot I don't remember,and don't remember when this took place. I went 40 days without a seizure then I was no longer a zombie but had more seizures more often finally they asked me to leave their home and I moved near their church, then another pastor took over this church and I was told to stay home and wait for my healing it was only me and God, no friends, just one. Not everything needs deliverance or is a evil spirit.

One thing I learnt from this is to have a balance in my life in all things.Then I call another pastor who said come to my church you wont have a problem here. For the first time after leaving the home I was in, I had someone believe me it was not fake, but the home I was in before. I had a pastor who believed me and who stuck up for me. I did have problems in the church but not from the pastor, he believed me when a lot of the church didn't.

On March,1st 1994 I had a MRI done and I had a good Dr. for once in my life who said there was something there. I asked him "You mean it's not fake?" and he said "No dear it not fake" and I was put on a waiting list to get tested to see if I could have surgery or not. Also in October of 1994 mom and her husband got separated and the secret didn't come out until he tried to kill her. It was in the front page news titled " Stalker Gets 5 Months". This is when I feel used by mom, but not right at first. She didn't ask if it was OK to tell the police our family secret after her getting after me not to say anything, but when he tried to kill her she just told the police what happened and that involved me even though I didn't want to do it, she told the police what he did to me to get back at him, she wasn't thinking what it would do to me but only herself, she called me, the only time she ever called me, to tell me what happened and what she wanted me to do and had to go when the secret came out. The police came to me door and I knew why they where there, so I gave them a statement and when that one was done they asked me has anyone else done this to you and that's when the abuse in the institution came out and that one went to court first and I got subpoenaed for that one. I lost the case. But I did get compensation. Now at the time I was going to court and dealing with the police.

I was getting tested to see if I could have surgery for epilepsy. when I got tested to see if I could have surgery I had to be hooked up to an EEG from Monday to Friday and on the week-end I was able to get off the EGG and wash my hair and take a bath. While I was on my way to take a bath, I asked Janet to please pray that I have a seizure, all the time before she was praying that it would stop now I need prayers to have one when I was hooked up. I went home a couple of times once for Christmas, so after Christmas I went back to the Victoria General Hospital and had the seizure they needed to see if I could have surgery or not. They froze the left side of the brain to see what abilities I would have or not have, this is when I found out my speech is on my right side of the brain see if your right handed your speech is supposed to be on you left side but where I hit my head when I was 3 they think it moved over to the right side and thank God it did because of this I was able to have the surgery. Thank God it was the news I wanted to hear. the Dr. gave me a couple of dates, one was February, 14 1995 he didn't think I wanted it done then but I asked him can I have it done then and he said yes so I did. It was the left frontal lobe that I had surgery on. A lot of people in the church thought I was nuts to do this but I was going to do it because I couldn't live with the seizures any more and I had faith. I look at it, if I come through this I am healed and if I don't I am still healed because I would be home with Jesus! I made sure I was right with God before I went under. I found out there was a scar tissue from a previous injury and that, from when I was 3 and hit my head. So they took it out and I haven't had a seizure since, Praise the Lord!! Now if it was fake why did I have surgery? they, the Drs. said I only had a 60% chance it would work and that I would still have some seizures my last seizure was February, 13 1995 the night before the surgery and I had the surgery on February, 14 1995, see, God don't do 60/% of a job, but a 100%. Before you had to go to London Ontario to have the surgery I think I was the 3rd one to have it done here in Halifax N.S. and I thank God for that. I got married 16 months after the surgery, Larry went to court with me and stood beside me through a lot, he is a great husband. We got married on June 20th 1996. In February of 1999 I had another case come up from the institution from where I was abused, the police came to me and I just had a miscarriage that week February, 22 1999 and they were at my door February, 26th, I didn't want this to be done. When I had the Miscarriage I wasn't getting over it. Larry and I had Marriage problems for the first 2 or 3 year we were married, by April the Dr. put me on depression medication because I wasn't getting over the miscarriage. Besides getting saved and having surgery it was one of the best things that happen to me, now I feel normal and can handle everyday life with the Lord's help. My due date would have been September 20th of 1999. Some of the things I went through I still don't know why I went through them but that is OK I am in God's hands and he makes all things work together for good for those who Love Him.

See, all these years it was a brain injury and I didn't know it, someone told me about 2 or 3 years after the surgery. I saw someone told them about my head injury and he said I have TBI well what news that was for me all these year and I finally found out what was wrong with me. Before I was told this I start to notice that I was losing my balance, 2 years after the surgery and it was getting worse I was hanging on to Larry so I wouldn't fall, so I got a cane. As I look at it, it's better then seizures.

In early of the year 2000 I was diagnosed with interstitial cystitis (IC) it is a bladder disorder, what it is, is the wall of the bladder leaks and there is a lot of pain with it I had my bladder stretched once and some people have to have it done again and again to get rid of the pain and so you don't have to go 60 times a day, no kidding. There's no "man's" cure but there is "God's" cure but it is still better then seizures. I have to watch everything I eat, there are a lot of foods I cant eat or I will be in a lot of pain.

At the end of May Larry's work was closing but there are 2 of the same stores but we didn't know if he was going to be transferred or not and it took a lot of faith because we don't make a lot now but God had a plan, he did get transferred and we were some grateful, he has been with the same company for 29 years. Now my life is OK

I don't know what life was like before TBI I guess I don't know what I am missing but I am glad of that because I have to rely on God for strength and Joy and all that I need.

I had to work hard to get where I am but I didn’t do it a long I had the Lord's help and counseling and help from friend to get where I am today My life is great! I get tired a lot but that's OK. I am blessed with a husband who loves me and 3 cats, I have a church family and the TBI family.I live in New Minas N.S. Canada. As some of you know I am a housewife and knitter I have been doing it since I was a kid and I love it, and that you order stuff, it does help and I love doing it. it 's relaxing for me, so I do what I can to help.

I thank God for all of you and I hope my story helps you, Blessings on you all!!

Email Jean