On august 26 1999 I was involved in a MVA on I-40 in New Mexico. I was returning from a conference in Albuquerque to my home in Gallup. I was driving through a cross over construction area with a barrier wall on my left. Just as I was coming to the end of this wall a construction truck pulled out from behind it . It was attempting to cross my lane of travel. Well this truck was not visible until it was directly in front of me in my lane. I was not able to react to this. And collided with this truck. I really thought that I was dying right there on the spot. I remember that all the people that I loved were going through my mind. I was in such pain that I could not move. Eventually the ambulance crew removed me with the jaws of life. To make a long story shorter. I ended up in UNM hospital in ABQ. diagnosed with stable fracture of C2 vertibrae. I was there for 6 days. All I knew at that time was the physical pain of the trauma to my body. After my physical injuries were healed I was trying to get back to work. I didn't think or know anything else was wrong. But, I started to have images of my death intruding into my daily activities. I just put them aside and kept going . But things just got worse. I also started having panic attacks. and eventually could barely function at times. This continued until I eventually was hospitalized with depression. This was about 3 months after the accident. I was still in a state of shock I have realized looking back on it. Even though I was in the hospital I was in denial of the whole thing. After about 2 weeks I was discharged. My folks came to collect me from NH as it was clear I could not continue on my own in NM. This was very hard. When I came to NH things just got worse. I had intolerable anxiety over thinking I was about to die. I was having hallucinations for about 3 days. I really thought I was at the end. This was the most traumatic time of my whole experience. I have now history of mental illness and did not know what was happening to me. My family was the only reason I made it, I think.

This now is January of 2000. I slowly started to recover from this episode. I was also diagnosed with TBI around this time. The 1st half of year 2000 , I had onset of symptoms of PTSD. the worst of this was uncontrollable anxiety attacks, intrusive thoughts of the accident and feeling extremely isolated from the world. Finally, the second half of 2000 this has improved with the help of EMDR therapy, Meds and , weekly psyschotherapy. This whole journy has occured with me not really aware of what is going on with me. It has only been in retrospect that I am gaining understanding as well as the help of ongoing therapy. I realize that it has been like layers of an onion the way my injury has revealed itself.

Now that PTSD symptoms have come under control. I realize that I am still quite limited in what I can do as compared to before the accident. I still have sleep disturbance. I have difficultly outside my home as I feel overwelmed easily and very tired . So here I am and I am so glad to be here. I have found great support in these web pages during those sleepless nites. Thank you. I welcome anyone who would like to contact me and talk or write.

Email Jeffrey