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Email Jennifer's Mom
I am Jennifer's mom and caregiver. It has been 4 years since her auto accident which resulted in severe tbi. As most of the stories she was not expected to make it through the night and was put in a coma. Jennifer has a closed head injury. Her car went into a guardrail and she was trapped for an hour. It took me a long time to understand the secondary injury of brain swelling cutting off oxygen because she had a wonderful EMT who stayed with her all the while when they cut the top off the car to get her out so I thought she was receiving oxygen, but the swelling and the high pressures did damage to the whole brain. She was in rehab for two months but as they can't keep you unless you show progress we too were told to put her in a home because that was about as good as we would see. She did not seem to know us and did not look when we left her room (which really hurt). She was totally unable to do anything for herself, was tube fed and had a trach. Nursing homes here are just a place to wait to die and she was our beautiful 16 year old daughter, we were in no way ready to let her go. I said a prayer at the hospital when we were told she would not make it through the night. We came to gripes with the fact that the Lord may take her and we were ready for that finally if that was his will, but I said Lord if you save her I believe you will heal her. My husband said I can't make those kind of deals, but I didn't think of it as a deal, I was looking for some thread to hold on to I suppose. It has been four years now she still can't help herself . She is in diapers and has to have enemas and still has the tube feed, although she has gotten a lot better about eating, if you feed her and puree her food. She has a beautiful smile and to look at her you don't realize there is anything wrong. She is a beautiful 20 year old girl. I think she really understands what I say. She makes sounds but does not talk. She does not make a yes or no so we can't get therapy. She can't move or walk on her own so we can't get physical or ot therapy. But she loves people and she just gets so excited and of course then she extends straight and it is hard to manage. I haven't read any people who are similar. Most people seem to talk rather quickly or walk and I guess I get hurt because she isn't. But I still believe the Lord must have some reason for her injury. She touches those who see her. She is just sweet now, and like a puppy just loves attention. I hate that I do not know if she is locked in, and really knows what is going on, but just can't tell us. We have met some wonderful people and heard amazing stories and courage. It seems it is not so much if something will happen to someone you know, but when, and most people seem to have some sort of tradegy. I don't mind the caring for her, of course I'm the mom, but I hate all she misses in life and she was so involved in life. It would be nice if there were "rehab type facilities" for all the people, because if the therapy were kept up and there were trained people to work with them I think there would be greater improvement. We have dreamed of starting something a long term facility with people who cared and no abuses. Another fantasy of ours is starting a respite facility where families could leave there family member weekends or a week for a vacation; even expanding that to a place where you could take your family member to relax and have a walkway, maybe a garden and aquarium, a game room and a reading or visit room and TV room. All big enough for wheelchairs of course. Well, who knows, its only money right. I'd love to hear from anyone. God Bless you all, I don't suppose you'd be reading these letters if you yourself did not have a tbi situation in your family. We can't explain these things but you have to have faith to keep you going. And every once in a while we do see a "miracle".