Jennifer Rallo
My name is Jennifer. I'm not sure if what happened to me is strictly considered a TBI or not, but I thought sharing my experience might help someone else. I was born with a congenital heart defect called an atrial septal defect which had never been diagnosed. In 1995 I was a newlywed (3 months), had just landed a great new job, and recently received my Master's Degree. I was home alone, getting ready to go to work and eating breakfast when I suddenly felt very sick. I realized I couldn't hold onto the spoon in my hand and when I tried to stand up my leg wouldn't move. It just twitched. I managed to reach the phone & call my husband at work after misdialing at least 10 times. He was working about 1 hour a way in another city. It was so hard to talk -I was practically screaming into the phone. He told me to call an ambulance. When we hung up I couldn't breathe. I watched the digital clock in fromt of me and realized that if I didn't breathe soon I would pass out and die. I was determined that my husband would not come home and find me dead-my goal was to survive until the ambulance got there. My right side was completely paralyzed, but I managed to lie down by pushing my right leg over with my left leg. Then suddenly I could breathe again. My thoughts were-I am having a stroke. But how could that be-I am only 26 years old! I called the ambulance and they arrived about 10 minutes later. They kept asking me if I had fallen or taken cough syrup which my husband had left on the table. I don't remember getting into the ambulance at all and only a little bit about the hospital. I remember trying to pretend that I was fine, joking with the nurses as I was taken for catscan. A neurologist confirmed that I had indeed suffered a stroke. A work-up of tests revealed the congenital heart defect. Initially they thought it was about 1/2 the size of a dime. When I had surgery 3 mo. later to repair it they found it was slightly larger than a dime. A pretty big hole to be running through your heart which is roughly the size of a fist! After the surgery I feel much better. I no longer have daily headaches and I have a lot more energy. I still fight the after effects of the stroke though. I can walk very well, but my right arm no longer swings. My worst effects seem to be severe emotional lability. I also have difficulty with knowing what appropriate emotional responses are in certain situations, I'm trying to learn to control these. It can be very frustrating at times. I work fulltime at the same job and have a great 2 year old daughter. Both my husband and family are supportive, but I think it is hard for them to understand what it is like for me at times. I feel a tremendous amount of pressure to "conform" to be normal. Social situations are very difficult for me. I think people think I can be abrupt, and I tend to be overly sensitive. But I am determined to push on and achieve my career goals. I would like to go to law school and become a public prosecutor. I've also tried to use my experiences to help others and I speak to the medical community with my cardiologist about the dangers of atrial septal defect.
When I look in the mirror I feel so different now. like a 50 year old in a 30 year old's body. But I think I have grown as a person in so many ways. Life is a journey and I feel like my experiences have helped me to realize where I really want to be.
