June 2006 my fiance, for his privacy I will just call him D, wrecked a motorcycle. He was test driving his brother's Harley at the bottom of his driveway. He went around a corner and we heard it go down. As soon as I got to him and saw that he was unconscious I dialed 911. It took them over 20 minutes to get there (his parents live in WV and I live right over the state line in MD). I think the remote location of his parents' house is partly to blame. Because I am working on my RN-BSN, I began assessing him right away, and knew it wasn't good. When EMS got there that is when I fianlly lost it. He was airlifted to Winchester Medical Center.

His injuries included the following: severe closed head trauma-axonal shearing, subdural hematoma, hemorrhagic stoke, aspiration pneumonia, bruised kidney, broken C1 and C2, broken mastoid process, road rash, and needed a few stitches. His ICP was increased so he underwent a craneotomy the next day. He remained completely unresposinve with Glasgow scores of 3-4, and was on the vent for about 2 weeks. About a month later he started to respond more with scores of about 7. In August, they replaced the cranial bones and placed a VP shunt. He was then transferred to a long term care facility to work with a therapist who specialized in TBI. He started to move around in September, sit in October, and stand with the therpists in November. In December, he went to an inpatient rehab facility for about a month, where he made progress but was not improving fast enough to meet the requirements for the program. Currently he is back with the original therapist.

D now...He can currently do the following things: eating puree and thickened liquids, sit in a wheelchair for extended periods, stand with "mod assistance," walk with two therapists on the parallel bars, some movement on the side affected by the stroke, starting to make noise, say certain words, write, operate a remote, feed himself, and has since had the trach removed. Things that D is working on: he is still incontinent, not speaking consistently, lacking fine motor control, sometimes unable to support his weight, and he is not thinking very independently yet.

I have been with D since we were 14 years old and we are now 20. I remember seeing him laying on the pavement and thinking as a healthcare professional that this person is not gonna make it. I remember the doctor's saying that he was severely brain damaged and his chances of surviving and recovery were minimal. But I have prayed and I have loved. D can now kiss me when he wants to, say "I love you," outloud, and hold me again. The first night I remembering whispering in his ear to remind him of a promise that he made to me...he promised that he would never leave me. I know that he heard me. One of the hardest parts of this process is that I am a fiance and not a wife. His mother is truly a selfish person and is trying to benefit and recieve money from this. She has also tried to brainwash him, saying that he doesn't remember or he doesn't know what's going on. She went through his things, emptied his bank account, and said she is going to try to turn him into someone else because she didn't like how he was before. She even at one point banned me from seeing him. But I know better, that's D in there. He may be different, but some things never change. Our love is one of those things. Friends, I really don't know why they seem to leave at times like these. I think my friends visit him more than his.

8 months post accident, we are all struggling but not giving up hope. I honestly believe that he was spared for a reason. I also believe that karma will come and bite his mother in the ass for doing him wrong in this time of need. If anyone would like to talk about family dynamics, rehab, or their recovery process; would like some support or someone to talk to, I would love to listen. Thanks for giving me a place to share. And remember the body and brain are amazing, that's why we don't know what will happen. And God is amazing. Time truly will tell. God bless.

D's fiance,
Katie

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