My accident included just me. Thank goodness I didn't hurt anybody else. I will tell you what I've learned of my accident and TBI.

It was January 11, 1997. I had met my then-fiance' at a business I frequented. It was a Friday night and it was on the busiest street in my city. He left to go home and meet me there. Apparently, I left the business about 15 minutes later. No one knows what happened. The detective in charge still remembers me and "it" like it was yesterday. They don't know what happened. From the skid marks from my car, they say i made a hard left and went across 4 lanes of traffic (even on-coming traffic), jumped into a parking lot, passed a 7-11 business in the parking lot by about 3 feet, and kept on in the shopping center parking lot. I hit an industrial light pole with the left front of my Acura Integra. It imbedded the left (driver) side of my car in by about 1 1/2 feet. I then wrapped around the pole, going almost all the way around it. When they found me, I was out of the passenger side door, on the street. They say the customers in the 7-11 could have pulled me out to see if I was alive, etc. I spent 7 weeks in a coma and while in there, I "flat-lined" twice. The toxicology report says I had something in my blood in the level that I was either comatose or almost dead.

My mom told me that I had told her on the phone that I was unhappy and about to leave my fiance'. Additionally, I knew quite a few people in that business. So, all of my family and friends (even some that were there that night) thought that someone had "slipped" me something. No one had any idea that something was up when I left there, so it had to have been something odd. The accident was only about 3 miles from the business and everybody said I was just fine when I left. (Besides, it is NOT in my nature to even drink and drive-I'm very responsible.)

Anyway, I not only do NOT remember the accident, and it also took about 3 years' worth of memory from me. So, all I can go on is my friends', family's, customers', detective's and doctors' renditions of what happened. I don't remember the first hospital, at all. The second one I only remember the last 2 weeks I was there. I believe I was there for about 2 or 3 months. It was Baylor Rehabilitation Hospital. There I went through a transformation of an infant to a teenager, of sorts. I wore diapers and goo-goo'd like an infant and I continued to "relearn" how to grow up very fast. I aged a couple years every week or so. At Baylor, I relearned how to walk (I was confined to a wheelchair for awhile), how to speak again (although speaking would take a couple years to become "normalized"), how to groom and dress again, etc.

I was then taken to the Centre for Neuro Skills, a neurological rehab, where I spent the next year and a few months relearning 1+1=2, walking properly, intense speech therapy, cognitive therapy, physical therapy, occupational therapy, and in the end, executive functioning.

As a part of my executive functioning, I was asked to give presentations. I chose to do them on the different aspects of brain injury so that not only could the other patients learn something, but maybe some of the therapists could get better acquainted with the survivor's view of the situation.

As my brain started working better (from about 10% one month to 30% the next month), I became aware of so much. Fortunately, I was out-patient while 95% of the survivors in the rehab were in-patient. I heard ghastly stories about how they were treated. The major reason I am such an ardent advocate is the lack of education there is about TBI. We learned in elementary school about mental retardation, but no one told us about "brain damage". The only time I heard the term was in high school when the not-so-good students talked about doing drugs and getting "brain damage". There is such a lack of knowledge about it!

As for some additional information about me and my recovery: My ex-fiance' told me that I didn't want anything on me or coming out of me, so I ripped the cords away from me and took my trach out, MYSELF. He said that people ought to have heard the alarms going crazy and doctors rushing in my room. (I still smile when I picture what this could have looked like.) Apparently, I didn't want the trach there, so I removed it myself and threw it on the floor (so he says). They then restrained me to my bed for about a week or so, after that happened.

As for the other major incident, I was sent home to live with my "fiance'", while I was to go to the rehab center. We all go through a psychologically devastating and possible suicidal phase in our recovery. Bill (my ex) and I were talking and it escalated into a fuss. We did not argue that much, it's probably the way that I remembered it. He left the room and went out to our deck to have a drink and smoke a cigar. I went into the bedroom, went to my armoire, and got my gun. I always kept it loaded. I guess I made a hasty decision that I wasn't gonna take this "mess" anymore. I put the gun to my head and pulled the trigger. It didn't go off. So, I tried again. It still didn't go off. I then looked at the spindle (dang aphasia, I can't think of the proper name of the part that holds the bullets).

There were no bullets there. So, given my feisty nature, I went outside to him and wanted to know why there were no bullets in there! He had emptied my gun the week before I came home. THANK GOODNESS! I then spent about a week in a psychiatric hospital where they not only did not have the faintest idea how to deal with brain injury, but.....as I went to the group therapies, I was "reacquainted" with how I was supposed to be psychologically. They released me on the spur of the moment when I started taking over their classes and talking more than the doctors. (laugh, laugh)

I have always been knowledgeable about psychology (more than the average Joe and about 1/2 of what the psychiatrist's know). The knowledge had just left me for awhile and it started coming back in a flood.

To make this long story short, I lost all my friends, my high executive career, my fiance', my house, just about everything. BUT.......they way I look at it is:
How many people could have the chance at a second life, to "do it all over again" with most if not almost all of their past life experiences and knowledge and start over again? Alot of people, if not all, would jump at the chance. I got it and I'm doing something about it.

One of the speeches I gave, I told about my life experiences and told the patients: If I can do it, you can, too! TBI is not the worst that has happened to me, but, as I said in the speech: It is one hell of a ride!

I have lived through physical and mental abuse, molestation and rape (all when I was a kid, by different people). If I can get through this, anybody can! So, there came the advocacy and support "kelly".

There is my story. I hope I didn't bore you and i hope i can give you some inspiration. I can get long-winded, sometimes. :)
kell :)