my name is kristi. 
my story is about my son david griffin. 
he is 24 now. very lucky to be that old. 
when he was 22, he was in a wreck that left him with t.b.i. 
             on september the first of 2005, my husband came to my job and said our
son was in icu at the hospital.he had been a wreck 9 hours early. no ,
we had no idea. no one let us know. it had happened less than 5 minutes
from my house. so we take off for the hospital. we arrived not knowing
what was going on. we were told what room he was in, when i saw my baby
in that bed, with all this equipment attach to him, and a steal rod in
his head, i lost it. my world just fell out from under me.we ask what
his condition was, who his doctor was. no one had any answers. we still
did not know what the injuries were. nor why this rod was in his head.
no one could tell us anything. the nurses finally got hold of one
doctor, she came to the floor, but all she could say was i dont know.
she did not know any more than we did, and that was nothing. we waited
all day to talk to a real doctor. about 9 oclock that night i get a
phone call in the icu unit. it was davids doctor. he explained davids
condition to me over the phone. he also tells me my baby will not live
thru the night. he rated david at a 4. i was tore apart. my world was
over.  
          well, my baby made it til the next morning. then his doctor came to see
us. he started explaining more in detail. he said davids age was on his
side for one thing, but he had brain damage. the rod was to measure his i
c p. inter cranial pressure. daivds brain was swelling, no need to crack
his skull for the swelling because it was already cracked all over. he had
spinal fluid coming out of ears and his nose. his head was swolen 3 times
its normal size. his doctor said if he survided he would be a vegetable
all his life. i know it sounds real selfish but we told him we would take
him anyway we could get him. just dont give up on him. the doctor said we
could spend as much time with him as we wanted. so, i did. i slept in the
icu unit with him. alot of times with two straight back chairs put
together. i was not about to leave him for one minute. i remember telling
a nurse that if my baby did not live then there was no need to go on
living. my heart was just gone. it was with my son and no one else
mattered.i begged god to let me take his place.  
  we had good days and we had bad days. his icp went up to 50 one night. that was a
bad night. he was put in a deep como by medicine because he a developed 5 blood
clots. one in his brain. i remember being real excited when he started moving his
right arm for the first time. only to be told that it was called posturing, a sign
of brain injury. he a to recive blood, 8 pints to be exact. the needle container
in his room was emptied i think every other day. that was a lot of needles and
medicine. 
   he was taken down for surgery, to put a trach in his throat. they had to get the
tube out of his throat before perment injuries to his throat happened. just one
more thing to worry about. later they put a peg tube in his stomach so they could
feed him. he was still on a ventalator. he would not breath on his on. he was
eventually weaned off it , thank god.  
    i remember the respiratory therapist coming in to suction him. he had broken
glass in his lungs from the wreck which i was not told about. he had newmonia
twice. plenty of kidney infection. which he got over. 
     going in to this i knew nothing about all these machines, nor what they did. i
wondered about the numbers on them. well, i learned all about these machines,
what they did, why they were there and how to read them. 
god only knows i had  plenty of time to learn them.  
i remember the doctor coming in the room, telling me that david was over the worst
and the nurses were worried about me.i was not eating, i was at the hospital day and
night. 
i was crying all the time. but, to me no one understood. and if you have never been
in this position before, you do not understand. 
i even snapped at my mother in law. i didnt mean to. but, she made the statement,
that god has a reason for everything. i just snapped.i do regret it. but i told her
that her god, took my mama and my daddy, he could not have my son. i know god did
not do this, he is the one that saved my son. 
 day after day, i would talk to my son. telling him how much i loved him. and to
please keep fighting. day after day i got no response. i would get real still about
9 every night in my chair and try to sleep. impossible!!!!!!!! i would get up every
morning at 3 am. so the night nurse could freshen him up some. i would down stairs
and thank god chick fila was open in the lobby. i would drink coffee. and write in
my journal about things that had happened the day before. 
i spent most days by myself with my son. every body went back to work. i took a
family medical leave.  
then came the time for david to be moved out on the floor. that was a nightmare with
in it self. there were a few good nurses, but not many. 
 i still stayed with him. i made sure he was turned on time. his boots were taken
off and put on on time. i had a note book for everything.i made sure he was fed,
the nurses tend to forget. they let his peg tube run dry, not a good thing. he
still could not talk, but i guess i learned to read him. i had to tell the nurses
when he was hurting. you can tell this by their blood pressure.  
 now over a month later, david can leave. i was told to put him in a nursing home.
well, i lost it again. god left him here with me for a reason. and it was not tp
put him in a home. we were talked to about the sheperd hospital in atlanta, at
first. but, then because david could not respond we were told no. he was in a
metabolic coma. and they dont take patients like that. which over a year later i
find out was not true. 
we took him home with no doctors, every doctor he had in the hospital, dismissed
him.he still had his peg tube, and a trach. i was given a weeks training on how to
clean it.the lady at the hospital helped us get a hospital bed,and a suction machine
for the trach. 
we had to apply for ssi, and medicaid. we had no insurance. 
it was rough at first. i still slept in a chair next to him in the living room. we
had no idea where to turn. no one gave us any information about tbi. i research
every thing myself on the enternet. 
someone finally gave me some phone numbers to call. i had ask for help every where,
no one would help. but i called the alabama rehabilitation in montgomery and the
alabama head injury program and there they were, with arms wide open. suddenly we
had everything we needed, the proper wheel chair, a air mattress. everything at no
charge.they told me about doctor that i did not know anything about. people that
would help. thank god. 
  i tried making doctors appointments for him. but because of his age i could not.
it did not matter that he was disabled. i had to get a lawyer and go to court and
get legal guardianship over him. which i did. 
not like we could afford it, after all i stopped working to take of my son. had no
nurse. no home health care. its a good thing i was a cna at one time.  
 no one prepared us for the anger stage. it was awful. we thought we were doing
something wrong. dr. harvey in opelika explained it to us. david had always been a
sweet child, this was new to us. i still cried, was a nervous wreck. was not
rational at all. very protective, that is understandable. my husband tells me that
we have to face the facts, david may not get any better. i refuse to believe that. 

david never spoke a word, but was mean as all get out. he would scream,hit ,pinch,
pull hair, bite, very uncontrollable. and once again i was on my own. no ones fault,
my husband had to work.  
he was in physical therapy at this point. it was 3 months after the wreck when he
started therapy. i really felt sorry for them. he was mean to them too. but still
never spoke a word. just screamed, and i cried. my husband had to pick him up and
put him our truck, we had no van, no wheelchair lift. we did the best we could, and
i never gave up. 
finally after about 4 months of the anger stage , he just all of a sudden starts to
laugh. no one can imagine how the weight of the world just lifted off our shoulders.
it was a big relief. we played jeff foxworthy on comedy central all weekend. he was
laughing and hugging us, and we did not want to loose it. 
we moved forward, teaching him how to eat all over again,how to drink out of a cup.
then the big task, how to talk again. we heard our first word in june 2006. 
  he said mama, i want fried chicken, and god saved my life, he sent me back. 
   david is a true miracle. he has been in therapy for over a year. gone thru 3
surgerys, he is now walking with a walker, talking a mile a minute, i had to
potty train him again.
 which is a total success. we got a van, that we no longer need. he spends time with
his daughter now. we are teaching him math again. how to read, which he does a good
job. 
 the worst part, is watching him struggle, but he never gives up. i hate that we
lost most of our family. the nurses said that our support group like our family
would slowly go away, i did not believe it, but it happened.i have one brother left
and his wife. my husband has one of his brothers and none of davids friends. i have
a brother that lives a block from me, i never hear from him. i have one brother
that i have never heard from. it is so sad. not for me but for them. they will
never have the opportunity to see my son get better, and watch him defeat all the
odds. 
 never give up hope, no matter what any doctor says. they said david would be a
vegetable the rest of his life, but if you could only see him now. he has amazed
everyone. he is my angel.  
i have never been in a support group, i dont have time. i have no one to talk to.
most of my emotions are inside put away some where. i tried talking to my husband
one time when we were still at the hospital, all he said was you have to pull
yourself together and be strong. all i really needed was to be held, by my husband
his father, that was my support group. someone that knew how i felt ( he was feeling
everything i was feeling )  
 so please, be there for each other, help each other. if your husband or wife wants
to cry, let them. and familys please dont leave your family. they will need you
more at home than in the hospital. learn about your loved ones medicine, doctors,
and feedings. learn how to turn them and bathe them and change them. every little
bit of help is needed.  
we have made it for over a year now. we laugh now, and we love. we thank god for
every minute we have together. 
david still has along way to go, but he will make it. i am not sure if he will ever
get back to where he was before the wreck, but he sure will try.there is light at
the end of the tunnel.never give up and always have faith. 
                     thank you kristi 
this is my first time telling anyone some of these things. i am not a poet, and my
words are not exact some times, i hit and missed a few things. but if you have been
thru this you understand.


Email Kristi