My name is Lois, my grandchildren call me Gammy. I am 56 years old. On June 8, 1996, I went through an intersection where the stop sign had been knocked down and got hit in the driver's side of the car (they call it t-boned) and then hit a tree head on.

I suffered through broken bones, fractures, a punctured lung and a brain injury.

It has been a long road to recovery and while I still have a ways to go and may never fully recover, I have come a long way.

During the last three years, I have lost friends who probably were embarrassed by my actions, but made many more who have shown me what true friendship really means. I truly believe these are angels God has put on this earth to help show me the way.

I have also lost contact with my daughter who does not understand and thinks that I am faking. Wish that were true, then I could easily make this all go away.

My sons have stuck by me, they don't fully understand, but they try. I have undergone physical therapy and been through the "mind doctors" and they have been all so kind and helpful, even if they don't really "get it". I'm sure without their help I couldn't have come as far as I have. At first, I called myself a victim and then realized that was very negative and started calling myself a survivor. The old me had been a very positive, determined person and thank God the new me is too.

Going through therapy I learned how to cope with most of my problems, but knew I was never going to make through if I couldn't adjust to being a new me and letting go of the old me.

At the time of my accident, I had lived alone for thirteen years, was very independent and determined to make it on my own. Had lots of friends and was very outgoing. I had reached the point in my life where I really liked myself and was contented with my life. Then POW, back to square one. In one-second, my whole life changed.

Now, I could no longer support myself. I had to depend on others and had to learn how to ask for help. I certainly learned the meaning of humility. I hated the new me, couldn't even call her Lois. She was so stupid and such a cry baby. I wanted the old me back, the me who was independent, witty, adventuresome and didn't need any help.

I listened to the therapists and they kept trying to tell me I had to get rid of the old me. That didn't make sense, I had worked so hard and had overcome many obstacles to make her the person she was. I didn't want to get rid of her, I liked her and what she had become.

Then one night I decided to try surfing the net, ha, maybe the new me wasn't so dumb.

I found the TBI chat room and finally found enough courage to enter. Didn't have much to say, but found it interesting. Several times after that I went back and then one night a young man named Tyler was there and it is to him I will always be thankful.

He seemed to have accepted what had happened to him, so I asked him how did he get away from the old him and accept the new, and told him what my problem was. It was then he handed me a whole new lease on life when he said simply "Why not meld the two together".

Now, why hadn't I thought of that. It was so simple. It was like he had turned on the lights and steered me out of the darkness.

Since that time, I have gone back into the chat room many times, but have never seen him there. That is why I'm writing this letter to say "THANK YOU TYLER". Because of you, I am a better person, I have learned to like the new me and look at life in a whole new way.

Because of you, I have saved the strengths of the old me and gained many new strengths. I have a brand new me that has turned out to be much better in a lot of ways than the old.

Because of you I have a new husband who knew and liked the old me and loves the new me. Without your help, I would never have fallen in love and married again. I would never ventured out to discover life again. It is because of your simple phrase that I owe you my gratitude. I have joined a brain injury support group and I hope that by sharing your wisdom I can help someone else find their way out of the darkness.

Thanks to you, Tyler, this has been a wonderful year and my recovery continues. I think of you often and hope your recovery continues also. It is Christmas time and as I share the season with my new husband, we both wish to say "Merry Christmas and may God bless you with the happiness we have found".

Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year,

Lois

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