In May of 1981 I visited my general practioner because I just wasn't feeling right. He ran a quick bloodsugar test and found I was borderline diabetic. He gave me a diet plan which I followed faithfully but kept getting worse. I had headaches more frequently but nothing really bad until the Father's Day one which was a real killer. They were also very erratic. By this I mean when, where in my head, and how long they would last. At the end of June my doctor got me an appt. for an EEG but before the test I had another killer! By killer I mean I had to go to bed in complete darkness and prey the heavy duty Motrin prescription eased the pain of laying my head on the pillow.

Needless to say the EEG was abnormal and the CAT scan shown to me was bad, bad enough not to bother with a second opinion. Not only did I have a tumor the size of a golf ball but also a cyste the size of a small orange. I then had an angeogram to check for blood vessel damage since the main artery in the forward center of the brain was pushed over my left eye. That horribly painful test was done Aug. 3rd and I had the crainotomy Aug.10. I had an excellent nuerosurgeon, came through the ordeal with flying colors and eventhough I still looked terrible, was released from the hospital on the 17th.

I was advised to undergo radiation therapy so I set up the treatments at the same hospital as my surgury. That is when I came across my first lousy doctor. My treatments ended the last week of Oct. after which I lost the front half of my hair which was no big deal at the time. After numerous checkups my doctor would not admit my hair loss was permanent. After all she had a miracle happen to her! Thus my first bout of serious depression. Wearing wigs is very uncomfortable but I succumbed to them after I found society in general couldn't handle my baldness as well as I adapted to it. In the meantime I kept working not realizing I that I had accumative brain damage from the radiation. I finally got back to my old job at Detroit Edison and the stress escallated my brain injury. Within a year I was on seizure medication and 2 years later I was taken out of work by my nuerosurgen who explained that radiation caused my brain atrophy (my brain was slowly dying), he couldn't tell me when it would stop. I hung in on to my my a few more weeks to qualify for a meager pension, actualy I think I may have been clinging to a position I really didn't want to leave. Edison was glad to see me go not only because they were downsizing but I had also participated in a drive to unionize the office workers. I got full disability benefits and the worst major depression of my life. I was refered to a psychiatrist, hospitalized for tests, while fighting for Social Security. When I left work a year earlier I had petit mall seizures, poor concetration, short term memory loss and jumbling my words around so badly I was afraid to talk for fear I was sounding stupid. By the time my attourney and I went for my Social Security hearing I was so bad I couldn't interpret their questions correctly and stuttered out what I could.

Now after almost 17 years and with minimal stress being a homebody I am doing much better. I still take numerous medications to keep me this way when I can remember to take them. I am 43, have a wonderful husband and two great children who are acting crazy (what a pun) in the living room right now. I don't know what I'd do without them. They make me smile.

I'm sorry to be so wordy but a lot has happened to me for a long time.

Lori Elmore