I was seventeen and had gone with a next door neighbor to one of her friend's houses for an afternoon of swimming and hanging around his pool. I was not a beach bunny at 170 lbs and very insecure about my body so I would not get into the pool except to just dangle my feet in the water to stay cool. It was sweltering that day and after awhile Cheryl, her husband and Starbuck went to the store for eats and drinks. I was alone by the pool and thought I would go ahead an jump in finally since there was no one there to see me. I walked to the diving board and out to the edge and thought to myself I would try to make a nice dive into the pool. I took what I thought was a lovely strong stance and leaned forward into the dive. I remember hitting the water.

It was exhilerating, and I just started to bring my hands back and start to angle up when I plowed headlong into the concrete flooring of the pool. I felt the intense impact. It was such a shock to my system. I head a loud crack from my forehead and a flash of light like a lightening bolt showed before my eyes tho they were closed.Then next thing I remember is opening my eyes and seeing my arms float limply up as my body went totally limp and went downward towards the pool bottom. I felt my feet touch the bottom of the pool and thought I had to push somehow. I remember an effort to push but then not a thing after that. My body just didn't want to respond to effort. The next thing I remember is opening my eyes to a horrible headbursting throbbing headache and the bright light of the day. I was flat on my back, out of the pool, and totally dry. I don't know how I came to be out of the pool, nor how long I had been out, but none of the people I was with originally had returned yet. As i tried to raise myself from the concrete the headache became more intense, the light hurt my eyes and I felt disoriented and confused, and sick to my stomache. I made my way into the house to the bathroom and looked at my head, my forehead bas tremedouly swollen and red and starting to turn dark colored. I felt so stupid. I remember feeling like a total fool and that I could not tell anyone what had happened. So I brushed all my bangs over my forehead and hoped no one would notice when they came back.

Later, maybe 15 minutes or so everyone came back with food and beverages and I was feeling sicker and sicker and eventually convinced my neighbor to take me home. When I got home I immediately laid down and went to sleep. I awoke late at night, still feeling stupid...so I did not tell my mother what happened and watched tv until I went to bed.

I had a terrible headache for the next few days, my neck hurt, I was still confused a lot, unable to concentrate in school and tired all the time. I slept loads. Finally after about two weeks and a lessoning of symptoms over that time I was sitting at school in English class when all of a sudden I became violently ill. I HAD to get to the bathroom to throw up, but I could not get my teacher to let me go. I do not know how I managed to keep from ralphing right there but she finally found a girl to take me to the bathroom and before I could get down the stairs I threw up all over them. I went immediately to the nurse , she called my mother, who told her to send me home and somehow with a massive headache and blurring vision I managed to walk the 1/4 mile to my home.

I had just walked into our apartment and passed my mother to lay down on her bed when suddenly I could not move anymore. I was paralyzed ! I couldn't move ANYTHING except my head and that only the slightest bit...and when I did move the pain was so intense I thought that I would pass out. I was crying, and scared and my mother was in hysterics asking me what was wrong and what had happened. I didn't even put two and two together to relate the diving injury with what was happeneing because so much time had lapsed between the incidents. Finally my mother started asking me if I had hit my head on anything recently and THAT was when I told her about the pool incident. She screamed at me that I had a skull fracture and that I could have died, or drowned and why hadn't I told her before now. But she didn't take me to the hospital or call a doctor or an ambulance , instead she ran for the refrigerator , grabbed all the ice she could find and quickly prepared for more. Wrapped the ice and a towel and the towel around my head telling me that the pressure in my head was causing all the syptoms and that she had to get the swelling down fast!I couldn't do anything but just lay there and let her do whatever she was doing. Days I had excrusiating headaches, my head wrapped in tons of ice, no medication but aspirin. My mother keeping me up and staring at my pupils and lamenting over my stupidity. Then one day she started to just put ice packs around my neck. I still could not move any part of my body, except my head and it was still to painful to try to do that on pourpose. Days went by, I watched a lot of tv. Then one night was wating Star Trek when I noticed a roach crawling up the wall at the foot of the bed. I thought to myself how ironic it would be if that roach crawled all the way up, then across the ceiling to right over my head only to lose its footing and fall in my face. That is exactly what happened!!! I watched with icks all over the place and it did in fact land right on my face....my whole body jerked when it happened, as I screramed for my mother to find it and get it off me. Then next few days slowly my body parts started to move a bit here and there until I could finally move everything. The headaches subsided. I could finally go to the loo and I started to feel like I nwasn't going to die anymore. All in all it took 2 weeks for the whole process.

I look back on that and wonder how I survived any of it. And how? No medical attention in the regular sense of the word, no intervention to prevent drowning, except...What?

Since then I have had a hard time remembering anything new...the short term is okay,,,but let a few weeks go by and forget it, literally. I have to reread and reread, relearn and relearn...I am very tired of doing it, such a tremendous waste of time. That is really probably the most irritating long term problem, but there are other things also,,,for years I would put the wrong words in sentences, get hyperconfused and not be able to verbally defend myself...I simply couldn't track fast enough nor respond and pull up information fast enough. If things get to frenetic and start moving to fast I lose it. Taking tests is a real problem, I cannot do "fill in the blanks". And yet I ace multiple choice or true false normally. Things I learned before the accident I can remember pretty well, but not after. I have to use lists ALL the time to get things done. I can't remember when bills are due and so I get behind easily even when I have more than enough money in the bank. I misplace things and then can't find them for MONTHS! I just don't remember.And sometimes I just can't get past the enormity of trying to remember to do things to even want to try any more. It is VERY frustrating! And people who don't know me or my issues with this leftover from the injury think I procrastinate. I can't handle the STress...the effort it takes to try to do and remember things is just tremendous. As long as I can remember where my lists are I do pretty well, but if I lose my lists,,,,,well it is a huge problem. I just get these BLOCKS that I am trying constantly to overcome. I do a pretty good job a lot of the time but once I lose the pace its all down hill from there. For a long time after the accident I would drive for instance, I had a job where I would have to commute vast distances, and I would start on my way and get where I was going...BUT I couldn't Remember HOW I GOT THERE. No memory of it WHATSOEVER. I haven't had that happen in a long time, but I thought I was going crazy for awhile. Or I have had sounds like machinery running , almost like the sounds of machinery of the morlocks in Time Machine,when I was laying down. That had happened when I was a kid too after a fall when I was dropped by my dad when I was little.That was weird. That hasn't happened for a long time to. I am very photophobic sometimes, but not others, tho light always seems to hurt my eyes to some degree or other. Incredibly low libido when I was closer to the injury date, not so much now all these years later. And sometimes I find myself listing occassionaly when I walk, or getting dizzy. That injury has definitely left an indelible mark on me...and did I sue, No. We didn't do things like that in the 60's. It's called taking personal responsibility for one's mistakes. It was an accident and I have had to live with the effects. At least I survived, and I can walk. I was lucky!

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