The TBI Chatroom and Homepage

Sitting in the Neurologists office and being told "That's perfectly normal for someone with a severe head injury" was a relief. I though I was completely off the planet. A motor vehicle accident two years previous in March 1988 had seen me patched up and sent back to work within a month. I had not been coping. The bright lights, sudden noises, frustration etc. etc. had really put me into a spin. At last there was a reason for what I was thinking feeling and doing.

Having a "label" for my behavior was better than nothing. This "label" has by no means solved my problems but at least I could now attempt to come to grips with life. I still dont accept that I am incapacitated in some areas. What I dont know doesn't worry me overly much. I have not lost my intelligence or adventurous spirit its just that things work out differently to what I want and expect. Damned annoying at times. It has taken a long while for me to get to know my new self. The first 5 years after my accident were I suppose spent in denial. I grieved for the old me. All my dreams and hopes shattered. The money worries and that loss of self esteem; the traditional male role of protector and provider was completely beyond me. The years of depression are now like a gaping void behind me. However with the help of my friends and family each small step forwards was encouraged and each hurdle that appeared was eventually overcome.

I can now say that I am happy with my situation !! I know I am a much better person now than before. I have had to learn patience and control. This is not to say that things are back to normal just that they are now normal for me. I have learnt that I must have adequate rest and not get overtired. I rely on others to tell me how I'm behaving because I have no objective judgment whatsoever. I now find that my experiences are enabling me to assist others in a similar situation. "Every cloud has a silver lining". In October 1997 I had a second TBI. I was injured in a caving accident when I fell 8 meters. Presently I am going through all the NP tests and assessments again. The results of all this should be very interesting because at least I have a baseline from which to work. I have noticed that my concentration and mental agility have taken a knock. Things are slowly improving in this area.

This by no means is our complete story. It is proving difficult to get my wife to put her side of the story down on paper. Needless to say she and the family have probably had more of an upheaval than myself. Liz is the person who has dealt with all the shit I've created and experienced over the years. Liz is the person who has fought the battles for fair and adequate compensation. Liz is the person who has managed to keep it all together. Liz has provided the support when I've tried returning to work. Liz is the "bitch" who tells me when I've gone to far. Liz still is having to deal and cope with my injuries and me. Thanks Liz.

Other injuries that I received in that car crash back in 1988 and that went undiagnosed for some time including my TBI. Were 3 cracked vertebrae in my neck and a cracked vertebrae in my lower back. What a shame that the medical profession in New Zealand is virtually unaccountable and that we are unable to seek recompense for what I'd call gross negligence on behalf of the Surgeon who oversaw my treatment at the time.

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