My daughter Jessica was a pedestrian hit by a mini van 2 weeks after her 14th birthday.

Jessica was visiting with her father while her step dad and I had a bit of a vacation. It was just after the big blackout in Ontario and the area we were in still did't have power, so we were just getting settled to sit outside and watch a storm approaching. Next thing we knew my father was racing in the driveway towards us. When I say racing you have to understand that my father used to race at Mosport and at St. Joilete. I knew immediately that something was wrong. Apparently the cell service was out and they had been trying to call us for hours. When he told me that Jessica had been hit, they had intubated her but he didn't know anything else...I felt like my chest had caved in and I couldn't breath. We jumped in and my dad rcced back towards the city, going through intersections where the lights were still out. I was terrified that I wouldn't make it back to Jessica.

The whole ride I was trying to call the hospital, all they could tell me was that the doctors were still with her. When we reached the hospital I ran in past the people screening for SARS (they wouldn't let her step-dad in behind me because of his different last name), I passed the nursing station to the trauma area. There was Jessica laying so still the right side of her face all purple. Tubes coming out from everywhere. Her father was crying but there was no reaction from Jessica when I talked to her. She was in a coma. There was a sudden whirlwind of activity again as they realized that the catheter was draining blood. They wanted her transfered down to the hospital for sick kids and were trying to find available staff to go with her. I had just walked in and didn't know what had been done for the last few hours or what they had found. I asked why they were transfering her when her pediatrician that we trust was at this hospital. The doctor just said it was the best place for her and ran off to give the ambulance instructions.

The ambulance driver was amazing and kept me talking about common interests during the trip to Sick Kids. I am still amazed that in the early hours of the morning I was speeding in an ambulance down the highway, lights going and cars were passing us. When we reached Toronto's Hospiyal for Sick Kids it was just like the reality TV show's. There were people yelling orders and running every which way. To me..her mother if feels like they are causing her more trauma. I am trained as a nurse and know better but at this point all I could see was someone trying to cause a reaction by causing more pain to my daughter. A grief councellor was the first person to talk to me and she is the last person I want to talk to I just wanted to be by Jessica's side. Jessica had to go for more CAT scans to see what was causing the bleeding, I stayed in the CAT scan with her trying every trick I could think of so that she would lay still, she was becoming very combative and I didn't want anyone getting upset and using restraints to make her to lay still. Coming out of the CAT scan there was someone telling the doctor that went in with us the results. Immediately I asked them to translate into english. Most of what I had heard I understood from my training but my brain wasn't working. I found out that Jessica had a laceration to her kidney and contusions to her lung. We were transfered to the pediatric intensive care unit. Jessica's step-father and I cried as they tried to take x-rays and she screamed each time they tried to change her position. We only stayed in the PICU for 24 hours because Jessica's vital signs were stable and the bleeding had slowed down, luckily she hadn't done any more damage when she ripped her catheter out during a combative moment. We were then transfered to the trauma unit. One thing I would wish for any family going through this is that it doesn't happen before a weekend. I ended up learning from the occupational therapist about the injury to Jessica's brain. She assumed I had already been told and she was devistated that she had told me for the first time in such an matter of fact way.

Each day in the trauma unit was a bit better. Jess would open her eyes for a moment at a time, then for a few minutes with hours of sleep between, then waking up long enough to talk to people one or two words at a time. She was very confused and had no idea where she was, she gave her address as the place where she had been at the time of the accident instead of her home address. She wanted to get up and had no idea why she couldn't. When she was allowed up, she walked with her feet splayed and her arms up for balance. We had to catch her from falling on a regular basis. She laughed at everything....pain, questions, words, everything. She had a totally different personality.We were told that she was medically stable and that she would be going home. I refused to take her home until I could speak to her doctor and find out more about what I should be doing. I walked into the room from having a meal and saw her doctor speaking to the mother of the boy in the next bed about Jessica. She was trying to explain that she was not the mother. When the doctor started talking to me I was informed that Jessica would be going to the Neuro-rehab program at Bloorview Children's Hospital. I could not accept the fact that I would be seperated from Jessica while I went to work and took care of her brother (who has special needs) and her sister. Instead they told me that if I chose I could have her in the day program at Bloorview instead of the in patient program. We would wait for that because they did't have a spot immediately available.

WELL WE MADE IT HOME. NOW WHAT?

The next 3 weeks while we waited for placement was a whirlwind of activity. We had to move furniture so that Jessica's bed was in our room with us. Construction people were putting up railings. People were dilivering wheelchairs and other equipment. The insurance adjuster came to start that all too long and unbelievable process. Friends and family trying to visit. Lawyers to talk to.

All the while...Jessica had lost her ability to focus or concentrate on anything for more than seconds at a time. I set up stations around the first floor. We had colouring, TV, computer, snack area (Jessica had also lost her ability to remember if she had eatten and was always hungry) I had to run along beside her because her balance was still not good and she would run off towards the stairs or the outside.

During this time I had a choice when Jessica's step dad got home from work. I could go out and buy groceries or I could get in time for a bath before I stated taking care of the family and getting Jessica ready for bed.

I learned that ordering groceries online is a godsend.

Thank god that for the last approx. 5 years I had been working with childrens with disabilities, it gave me some idea of what to do and the tools to do it. Before we could even start at Bloorview we worked with Jessica at home. Getting her to walk more than a few feet at a time and working on her gait. We were using a few pic symbols that I had someone at work make up for me because Jessica would get so fatigued that she wouldn't be able to talk even one word.

Finally the day came that we could start at Bloorview. Jessica and I made the drive from Streetsville into Toronto every day for the next three months (about an hours drive in rush hour traffic). The people at Bloorview were amazing. Not only to Jessica but to the family. Thanksgiving came while she was there and the dietary staff was able to put together everything I would need for a thanksgiving dinner so that I could buy it there instead of trying to get out shopping.

The day we left Bloorview was a happy and sad day. We were home again..now what? It has been 2 1/2 years now with therapists in our home almost every day. Going to insurer examinations and DAC appointments. Seeing Jessica's neurologist, neuro-rehab specialist, pediatrician, neuro-phychologist. But she is now in a private school that offers one on one teachers for her academic classes and small groups for any other classes. She is still progressing and we still have our battles with the insurance company that says she is the same as before the accident and in no need of care. I would love for one of them to come in and do her care for even a week. Maybe I could arrange that and I could go to Florida eh! LOL

All the Best to Everyone!
Mary-Ellen

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