My situation happened April 21 1995. I don't remember that day or the month and a half in the hospital. From what I was told by witnesses, my best friend and I were on our way back to school - he was driving. Apparently the person in front of us went through a stop sign, and he followed, which is strange because he drove on that road every day and was a very cautious driver. There was man in a van speeding 55 in a 35 mile area, and he hit us on my friend's side. I am here because a nurse happened to be at the stop sign across the street (this is a quiet road in lafayette, colorado, ironically called Lookout road...)

Apprently I was out of it - my mom heard me from the parking lot of the hospital I was being so loud with strange noises - but I am not a loud person - so they put me in a an induced coma for a week. I had a broken collar bone, cracked ribs, a punctured lung, and my pelvis was broken in 2 places, and of course I had an internal traumatic brain injury. All my damage was internal - not a scratch on me. My mom remembers taking glass out of my hair with a nurse.

Meanwhile, my friend died from internal bleeding and was brain dead. I wasn't awake for the funeral - and when I was out of the coma I was out of my mind from the stories I hear...and I would ask why he hadn't come to visit me - they held off in telling me what had happened.

Slowly I have recovered, but I still have the typical problems of short term memory, I can get annoyed easily, my sense of smell and hearing are higher, etc - but my main problem is insomnia. As of 4 days ago I stopped taking my meds - temazepam was the latest pill I was on, and I slowly weened off of it. I have been on every possible drug that helps induce sleep - none of it really has worked. Doctor after doctor has a different theory and pushes a new drug.

My other big problem to this day is the loss of my best friend! Even writing this I start to cry - I have seen therapists, etc., but nothing helps in taking away the pain of having lost him. And I still feel like he is with me, but it still hurts that he was ripped out of my life - in physical form. He was the best person i have EVER known - we were soul mates - born 5 hours apart, and we always had fun, etc. Interesting how much people can affect us.

I grew up around the world, as my father worked for the UN with agriculture, and I had always wanted to work with women in developing countries. After the accident the doctors didn't think I could do much in school - as far as my pre-existing poor math skills, this was very true as I now have barely any math logic in me..., but as for the rest, things were much harder - but part of it was denial that anything was wrong with me and the other was determination - I was not going to change my life goal.

I was accepted to college, and had to face almost another trauma - dealing with the "disability" offices.....I look normal, so it is very hard for them to understand my very real problems. I had to prove things to them... this followed me throughout my college career and was always a fight. I think these offices at schools all over need to be educated about TBI situations. I even went to grad school (to one where they don't need GRE tests because I would have done badly..) - and they didn't have a "disability" office for grads so they referred to the under-grad office and then had me keep in touch with this one woman who apparently "had experience in this" - she had none! Again, I had to fight and convince them where I have difficulties - it was as though they thought I was trying to scheme them and cheat. I just needed a different space and longer time to take tests, along with a list of reminder words to help me remember - not definitions, or answers..this was hard fo! r them to understand. But I made it through. Another thing they didn't understand that because of my insomnia problem I could not particiapte in classes or meetings held in the eveningd because I would have to take my meds early to have an effect and just relax. And all my time availabe for classes, assignements, etc. was all crammed in to my daytime, as opposed to my classmates who could study until 2 am.

I realize I have gone on a bit here, but I wanted to bring up some very real situations. But I am a strong believer that we can achieve what we set our minds to - where there is a will there is a way.

I am always here to help anybody that needs it!!

Email Monica