Tina "minnie" Whitlam
My Life changed at 9.15 pm on Wednesday 30th September 1998, I was returning from a late shift at the hospital where I worked, I was riding my motorscooter and was with in 3 minutes from my home, I do not remember the accident, and only know about it from what I have been told, But the worst thing is that my youngest son then aged 17 heard the bang on his way home, from his swimming training so as he came up to the place where the accident had happened, All that he could see was his mother who at the time was being help by a passer by, He had to rush home to tell his father that I had been involved in a accident. Doug my husband of then 27 years came with me to the hospital in the ambulance, I remember nothing at all until I heard my daughters voice, who had been brought down from university by one of her flat mates after hearing about the accident, At first on waking I did not know what had happened and could not understand why I could not move and why I was hurting, I was in the A&E Department until around 5.30 am until a bed could be found for me, at that time I did not know the full extent of my injuries, all I know was that I hurt, and could not remember why, My injurys consisted of a broken right ankle, right wrist & thumb, and left collar bone, there was at that time no mention of a head injury. As there was a shortage of beds, I was only kept in the hospital until the friday, so after I had been given crutches that I was surpose to use to help me get around and that I was not to go upstairs, I was sent home, but as I could not use the crutches due to the injuries on the upper part of my body, My husband went and hired a wheelchair for me, I could not get upstairs at all so settled down to sit eat and sleep on the sofa, My Mother who lives some 200 miles away, came down to take care of me, as I could not do any thing at all for myself, not even take myself to the toilet, so for the first 8 weeks after the accident my Mum slept on a mattress on the floor so that she could be at hand, For the next 5 months I thought that I was going out my mind, as I could not say the right words, or keep up with conversations, as I kept loseing track of what was being said. It was only by chance that I found out that I had sustained a head injury, After my ankle was well enough for me to try and walk, I went into my work place some 5 months after the accident to take in a sick note, And it was only through a conversation with one of the doctors that work there, That the word head injury was first mentioned, I was then sent to a Nuro Consultant, some 2 months later, My husband is a very careing man, and if our marrage had not been so strong I believe that it would not have lasted this long, I often think that he does not understand, but I think that in his own way he does, 2 of my sons have never accepted that I can be any different to what I was before, and say that I am useing the accident as an excuse, but I think that is there way of dealing with it, My youngest son is very careing and I think he understands more with him being at the scene shortly after the accident, My daughter also protects me when we go out, as I am libel to lose my balance if I am knocked, I hate myself, as I feel that at times I am a burden to everyone, and if there was one thing that I could wish for was that I could turn back the clock, My balance is still not great but I get around and try and do as much as I can, I will not ask for help, as that is not the done thing, my life line is headway which I go to twice a week, and have made some wonderful friends, who take me for what I am, I find that when I am at headway I feel safe, and that I do not have to make up excuse for saying the wrong thing, as we are all the same, I also hate it when I am asked are you not at work yet, as to the naked eye I do not look any different then I did before the accident, But I find that I rather not say anything why I am not at work, as I feel that nobody would understand. So I am inclined to keep my true feelings to myself, There have been times when I have felt that the family would be better off with out me, It is now over 2 years since I had the accident and to think that I will be this way for the rest of my life is not one of my favourite thoughts, But I hope through visiting this web site I will be able to make new friends with other people that really understand how I feel. Tina C Whitlam, Derbyshire UK
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