Tracy Childers
The nightmare began on Dec. 17 1993. Steve, I and several others including his 20 year old sister had gone to a local club to watch a ballgame on TV. The drinking began. I left the club begging Steve to leave with me. He refused. I asked a mutual friend to please drive Steve home later, he agreed. I went home and went to bed. About two hours later I received a phone call that would alter the course of my young, nieve life. There had been a carwreck only 2 blocks from our home. Steve's parents and his aunt immediately drove to the hospital. Steve, his cousin, his sister, her roommate, and a friend had all been injured. Steve was in a coma, bearly breathing and was lodged under the drivers seat. His sister and her roommate were killed on impact of hitting the tree. The driver, which was the cousin had face and mouth injuries but would be fine and the friend had a dislocated hip. All were taken to the hospital and the two were taken to the morgue. That night began a spiral of events that to this day are still foggy. I began making life decisions for Steve. The doctors didn't give him a expectancy to live through the night. Steve was and still is a fighter. I knew that in my soul and was lucky enough at that point to be uneducated into the severity of brain injury. I began to hear terms such as Glascow Coma Scale, trachestomy, CT scan, MRI, vegetative state, persistent coma, etc etc. These terms which began being as foreign to me as another language have become such a common part of my life as the years go by. STeve remained in ICU for 6 weeks. When he was transferred to his rehabilitation hospital he was still classified as being in a coma. We surrounded Steve with visitors, familiar surroundings, smells, ballgames, his highschool football jersey and photos. We talked to him as if he was alert and understanding everything we said...who were we to decide that he couldn't? The weeks turned into months and after 5 long months the rehab. center said it was time to place Steve into a nursing home due to his not making any progress and hitting his plateau. Again, I knew Steve was a fighter and had seen too many signs in him that he was still inside himself. I wouldn't give up on him. I moved Steve to another rehab. in another state. This proved to be the miracle we had prayed about. His physician believed in Steve. He saw what I knew Steve had in himself. He performed many surgeries on sTeve to release his contractions. This made the physical and occupational therapies more effective as Steve had more control over his body. His progress continued in leaps and bounds. He remained in this rehab hospital for 4 1/2 years with me living nearby in a Howard Johnson's motel room accompanying his every therapy with him. He was then transferred to another rehab in again another state to fine tune the progress that he had made. Finally after 5 years Steve and I returned back home to become adjusted to what life had dealt us. We began making plans to handicap the house for Steve's independence. This proved to be the best thing for Steve. Currently Steve utilizes a wheelchair or electric scooter for mobility. His speech has been affected and he uses a letterboard for his communication. However, Steve is independent and lives alone in his own house. He has an attendant that comes twice a day all week long to clean, cook and provide personal care that he requires. My relationship with Steve changed drastically the night of the wreck. My role as wife ended and my role of caregiver began. Steve is and always will be my best friend. I overlook the wheelchair. However, our marriage isn't as it was before. How could it possibly be? We arent' the same two people we once were. Living seperately has proven to be the best situation for us. I have since returned to my profession and have a life seperate from sTeve. I have regained my identity back. Steve has gained his independence and privacy which he had been stripped of for many years. Brain injury is a cruel injury. It is so very complicated and so individualized. Not one person has the same outcome as the next. There are no set answers to all of our questions. I have learned that one small decision a person makes, ie. to leave a club after drinking and get into the car with another person who had been drinking, can drastically alter the course of your life and the lives of many many people around you. Steve's sister was only 20 when she died of a massive blow to her aorta. Her college roommate died on impact of hitting the tree. They never had a chance. Steve has a second chance and is living the best life that he can now. People need to learn lessons and be grateful for what they have. We've learned that lesson the hard way. Have you?Email Tracy
Email Steve, he is
full of inspiring words to anyone who may need it.
